Just Thinking

Sometimes I wonder why I went to school for journalism. The struggle of doing work for a grade has taken the joy out of writing. I was so much better at writing papers on historical events or analyzing topics when I was in undergrad, but I have yet to create the connect in grad school since I am often the one finding the facts and not just reading them. I have had professors give many ideas on how to become a better writer suggesting I write like I'm talking to a friend or write like you would have a conversation. These are helpful tips, but I wouldn't dare write how I talk seeing as I don't speak the best English and when I do it's often too "ethnic" for my current Caucasian audience to understand. I struggle with taking the advice of others and incorporating it with who I want to be as a writer. Which is the cause of much of my problems with grad school. How can you truly grade journalism when writing is sublective. I get checking for grammar, word usage, etc... but how can you grade how someone views or sees an event? Mark, Paul, Luke and John barred witness to the same events in life of Christ, yet told them in four different ways, payed attention to different things, highlighted different details. I have not heard anyone say that Mark's story was wrong because it didn't completely match up with Lukes. So how is a professor to tell me I missed something because he read "Molly's" story online? Logically you shouldn't, but I guess that's my logic. For now I will just give my current audience what they want. So much for establishing and having a voice.

LIVE!

I'm in desperate need of an Ah Ha! moment. I beat myself up over so many things that I fail to look at the positive things that are constantly happening in my life. I worry too much. I worry about things that hold little relevance and put too much effort in trying to control things that are way out of my control. I center my world around school and work when I should really focus on living. Life is passing me by while I sit and contemplate on what I needs to be done. Why miss Saturday's game night for an article I probably won't write until Sunday? The work will be there tomorrow, and most likely I will be more willing to write because I'm in a better space (frame of mind).

Moral of this story is stressing leads you no where. It doesn't change the situation you are in, but the way you react does change the outcome. The only thing you can control is your attitude. Love yourself, it's the only way you can appreciate the life God's given you. Make Lemonade!

The Struggle Is Real

Ever have one of those days where you felt like the cookie at the bottom of the barrel. You know the one with the broken ends and the missing chocolate chips. Well today after I received my first grade in Popular Music Reporting, which was a B, I felt just like that cookie, crushed. Some of you will probably think I'm tripping and I probably am, but you need to know my back story.

I am a graduate student at Northwestern University. I was excepted in to the Medill School of Journalism in 2011 and started school the summer of that same year. I was to graduate in June of 2012 with a Master of Science in Journalism, but I did not once life got in the way. After a stressful second quarter, a quarter break and I returned to grad school only to get hospitalized for a hernia two weeks before the quarter ended. Fast forward from June 2012 to April 2013 and I am back in my third quarter of grad school, just wanting to graduate. Im not worried about being in the top of the class, I just want to finish. You are probably thinking "then why are you worried about that B?" Well a B at Medill is the lowest grade you can get. On order to stay in this program, you must maintain a 3.0 (B) average. With a B on my first assignment that means I can't afford for my grades to go down. I must maintain or achieve higher grades on my up coming assignments. All of this has me once again questioning if journalism is my chosen path. As much as I love to write, I have yet to master all the skills the school says I must possess or learn how to tolerate critique. Knowing this shrinks my confidence down to the size of a mustard seed. I know that this is all I need when it comes to faith but I'm not sold on it being the same for confidence.

Anyway I refuse to remain that broke cookie. No one likes broke cookies.